It's something we don't talk about. It's something we look down upon. We pity those who've lost someone because of it. We question how anyone could have been so desperate to perform such an act. We step around it in conversation because we're too afraid to "go there."
I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to "go there" because I'm feeling moved to write this because someone may need to read these words. As I write this I'm praying God speaks straight through me and onto this computer screen.
I've been there. I've been so consumed by despair and loneliness that I thought about it and planned it. I came close. It was a night I was in Athens last summer with 3 of my friends and they went out and I stayed back with plans to pick them up around 2 am. I was alone and knew they'd be able to find someone else if I couldn't make it to go get them. My mom knew how desperate I was and spent an hour on the phone begging me to let her come get me. She told me I had to hold on because she needed me. I was her baby and she needed her baby- all of her babies. But I was in too deep. I had made so many mistakes. I had so many issues I hadn't dealt with for over 14 years. Feelings I'd repressed. Thoughts I'd pushed away. Events and emotions I swept under the rug. I'd make such bad mistakes I didn't think God could possibly love me anymore. I felt dirty from all of the emotions I'd had bottled up. I wanted to tear off my skin. There are not enough words to describe my misery. All around me people told me they needed me, but I was too far gone to listen. My friends had told me they needed me and how I'd touched their lives. But it didn't matter. None of it did. I wanted out. I felt worthless. I felt unloved (which was NOT true, but I couldn't see it). I didn't understand why God had given me so much hardship, so much rubble to make my way through. I couldn't hear Him or feel Him. And if God didn't want me or love me, what good was this life? I wanted out of this life. And I wanted it now.
We say suicide is a selfish thought. And in truth, it sort of is. But when you're in that darkness it seems like the only way out. Is it selfish to leave behind our family members asking "why?" and wondering what they could have done? Yes. But we are selfish beings. When I spent many nights in high school spending time with friends and my boyfriend instead of my family, that was selfish too. I do a lot of things that are selfish. And when you're in that place, you honestly and truthfully believe that the world would be better off without you. You don't think you're being selfish, but selfless. Because if people knew how hardened and darkened your heart was, they wouldn't love you or want you.
As I sat on the kitchen floor crying hysterically wanting to end my life on that summer night, I kept waiting for Jesus to come out from around the corner. And He didn't. I had been in a dark place once before when I was 16 and that's the night I was saved and found Jesus. But this time, I was in a much darker place. I was begging for God to tell me something to make it worth continuing with my life. Nothing. Nothing, just my own thoughts and emotions. And then, a little blue-eyed, blonde-haired face popped into my mind. Followed by a brown-eyed, light-haired face. And then a blue-eyed, light-haired face. How would my sisters explain that to those three little kids who meant the world to me? How would they explain it to the little ones that they would have one day? And I couldn't do it. I still feel convicted that Caroline will need me on day, so I hung on.
One of my SAO sisters told me something in August while we were praying together that really stuck with me- sometimes we come to a crossroads in life and ask God with road to take and all He says is "yes." He knows which path we will take, so we make a choice and know that as long as we cling to Him and our faith, we cannot go wrong.
That night, I chose life. And I'm so glad I did. And I know God is glad I did. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it to my mom, or Grandpa, or my sisters. People have been touched by my story, and that is proof enough that God wants me here. My dream of writing a book and speaking to young women grows a little stronger each day, and I live for that. I live for the hope of teaching many students the love of Literature. I live for my incredible family. I live for the hope that someday I get married and have my own babies. I chose life.
So why don't we talk about it? Why is it so taboo? If we talked more about it, maybe we'd understand more. Maybe we'd judge less. Maybe we'd love more. Maybe we'd demonstrate more honesty. Maybe we'd tell people how we truly felt. Maybe we'd trust Him more.
If you're reading this and are struggling, know you're not alone. Know you are loved. And talk to me, honestly, you're not alone and I'd love to be that person for you. Truly.
Smile, God loves you!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Sweet Tooth
If you know me very well, you know I have quite the sweet tooth. I love chocolate, cake, cookies, key lime pie, candy, and ice cream. I can pretty much pinpoint the "birth" of my sweet tooth to being roughly 3 or 4 years old. Although my memories of my dad are fleeting and minimal at times, this is one that is extremely vivid. When I was little, I would "sneak" out of bed and find my dad in the family room with the Braves game on and a bowl of Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream. Oh, and the ice cream was held in the one and only bowl that said, "Bob's ice cream bowl." It was bigger than your average bowl and could therefore hold a lot more of that sacred ice cream. Side note about the ice cream: my family doesn't like Breyer's ice cream, but we eat their mint chocolate chip. It's white; we don't eat the green kind. When I was in Chattanooga when little Jacob was born, the day before Jackie went in labor she asked Andrew to get her mint chocolate chip and at the same time we both specified that it had to be Breyer's. I digress. My dad would give me a bite of his ice cream and then he would take a bite, etc. And my sweet tooth was born.
Throughout high school I was always dancing, so having such a sweet tooth wasn't that big of a deal because I was able to maintain a nice physique. Well, let's be honest, I am far from that dancer body now. I've recently felt convicted about how I've been treating my body. God tells us our bodies are temples and sacred, and I was not treating it accordingly. Hence, I'm now on a diet and exercising to try to get that body back. But what is killing me right now? My dang sweet tooth. I just can't seem to stop eating sweets. I mean I can resist them but my sweet tooth got me to thinking...
Why don't I have a sweet tooth for the Lord?
At times I do, but if I'm honest I have to tell you that I haven't been good about quiet time since probably November. I come back from church and SAO events on fire for Him. But when it's just me and I could either spend 15 minutes with God or on Facebook, I usually choose Facebook. And that's bad. Really bad. When I was in the depths of my depression, I clung to that quiet time. It was what got me through the day: at the end of this day, I will get to spend time just me and God. But then things got better and I came out of this depression and my quiet times got fewer and farther between.
Living without God is like living without chocolate, or cake, or candy. And I LOVE those things. And I love God. But I'm really good at resisting Him or neglecting Him. And if you're all honest, I'm sure you are too. And, just like sugar, the more you get of God, the more you want of Him. I want God to be my mint chocolate chip ice cream-nothing will satisfy that sweet tooth except for that specific brand, and nothing will satisfy my spiritual sweet tooth except for undivided time with the Lord.
So I ask you, please help me strengthen my sweet tooth for the Lord, and I'll try to do that for you as well.
Smile, God loves you!
Throughout high school I was always dancing, so having such a sweet tooth wasn't that big of a deal because I was able to maintain a nice physique. Well, let's be honest, I am far from that dancer body now. I've recently felt convicted about how I've been treating my body. God tells us our bodies are temples and sacred, and I was not treating it accordingly. Hence, I'm now on a diet and exercising to try to get that body back. But what is killing me right now? My dang sweet tooth. I just can't seem to stop eating sweets. I mean I can resist them but my sweet tooth got me to thinking...
Why don't I have a sweet tooth for the Lord?
At times I do, but if I'm honest I have to tell you that I haven't been good about quiet time since probably November. I come back from church and SAO events on fire for Him. But when it's just me and I could either spend 15 minutes with God or on Facebook, I usually choose Facebook. And that's bad. Really bad. When I was in the depths of my depression, I clung to that quiet time. It was what got me through the day: at the end of this day, I will get to spend time just me and God. But then things got better and I came out of this depression and my quiet times got fewer and farther between.
Living without God is like living without chocolate, or cake, or candy. And I LOVE those things. And I love God. But I'm really good at resisting Him or neglecting Him. And if you're all honest, I'm sure you are too. And, just like sugar, the more you get of God, the more you want of Him. I want God to be my mint chocolate chip ice cream-nothing will satisfy that sweet tooth except for that specific brand, and nothing will satisfy my spiritual sweet tooth except for undivided time with the Lord.
So I ask you, please help me strengthen my sweet tooth for the Lord, and I'll try to do that for you as well.
Smile, God loves you!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Brokenness
Merriam Webster defines the word "broken" as "violently shattered into parts; damaged or altered by breaking." As Christians, we often talk about this word "brokenness," but what does it really mean? What do we actually mean when we speak of brokenness? Essentially, we're referring to sin and its cyclical nature.
I have been broken before, and I think it had a snowball effect as I broke. It started with my dad's death, continued with my grandma's death, grew with my anxiety disorder, grew in friendships I lost, and grew with the breakup I went through over the summer, and came to a giant size when I came to terms with the many mistakes I made in my past. Finally, it came to the point where this snowball of my anxiety, grief, and sin was thrown to the ground, and it burst, as snowballs tend to do. I, in essence, was violently shattered into parts.
I had been suppressing my brokenness for many years, despite the counseling I had been through. I invested the brokenness in my relationships with people, staying busy, and telling myself I was "fine." Well then I got to the point where everything was shattered and I was broken and felt like my life had fallen into a million little pieces and some pieces were so small I'd never find them and put them back into place. For awhile that really bothered me, but it doesn't anymore, because for every empty space I have, God fills it, well He overflows it really. In my brokenness I realized how little I admitted things about losing my dad and grandma and the feelings I truly felt in my anxiety: I have some serious trust issues, I have a fear of not being in control of people and being with them at all times, it's hard for me to accept change, I lack forgiveness of myself, sometimes I love people too deeply too quickly and too easily, I'm often dishonest when people ask me how I truly feel, and I'm prone to sweep things under the rug. Well, if you've ever reached a point of such brokenness, you know how difficult it is to admit those things to yourself. The thought of admitting them to others is terrifying.
But I've been there. I've been at the bottom of a deep pit. I've known what it's like to have dark thoughts you'd rather not admit. I've had the feeling that I'm sinking so far underwater that no one can rescue me. I've wanted to give up. I've felt like there is no end in sight. And it's scary. It's scary to be in that place. I've felt so broken to the point that not even God could reach me. In my darkest days I couldn't feel Him. I prayed so hard and shed so many tears and felt nothing in return from Him. When I had those dark thoughts I expected Him to rescue me quickly and with urgency, and He didn't. But in all of that I realized He was being more faithful than ever. He had not forsaken me, but He gave me a choice. I could choose to continue to cling to Him knowing that salvation would come, or I could give up and make another, much darker choice. I chose Him. James 1:2-4 tells us "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." God tells us, not only in this verse, but many times in the Bible that we will face trials (thanks to good old Eve for taking that forbidden fruit). But the glory is that we will be rewarded for our faithfulness and perseverance.
We also aren't alone in our struggles. SAO's exec board decided to share our testimonies with sisters this semester. We've talked a lot about being vulnerable but how can we ask sisters to be vulnerable among each other and us if we aren't vulnerable with them? The answer is: we can't. I've been told I have a powerful testimony, and I do not wish to say that to boast, because I would not wish some of the things I've been through on my worst enemy. I say it to bring light to His goodness because of the incredible ways He's changed my heart and used my testimony to further His kingdom. He uses every testimony to the betterment of His kingdom, big or small. Anyway, there was some serious spiritual warfare that went on. I had dreams that my sisters laughed at me and walked out. I had a girls' night with one of my best friends from high school, Megan, and ended up crying hysterically for what seemed like no reason. Satan told me I should not, could not share my testimony because it would not be well received and would do harm and not good. Well, it did just the opposite. Exec sharing testimonies has opened doors with sisters and made it possible for anyone and everyone to come forward with their struggles if they choose to do so.
When we choose God, Satan loses in our brokenness. Satan rejoices when we are broken, and he wins a heart when we choose dark thoughts over Jesus. I can't say that on that dark night this summer when I chose Jesus that it got easy right away. It didn't. I cried for many nights, I doubted His goodness, I tried to give up my faith for a day, and dark days lay ahead for me. But now, almost a year (has it really been that long?) later, I have been victorious through Him. After all, that's what my name means, victory through faith (Victoria Faith). I know that the dark days aren't over, but I know that God is always light and He is always goodness.
I heard a song on the radio the other day that I've heard hundreds of times, but it really hit me. It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story, and in it she says
I have been broken before, and I think it had a snowball effect as I broke. It started with my dad's death, continued with my grandma's death, grew with my anxiety disorder, grew in friendships I lost, and grew with the breakup I went through over the summer, and came to a giant size when I came to terms with the many mistakes I made in my past. Finally, it came to the point where this snowball of my anxiety, grief, and sin was thrown to the ground, and it burst, as snowballs tend to do. I, in essence, was violently shattered into parts.
I had been suppressing my brokenness for many years, despite the counseling I had been through. I invested the brokenness in my relationships with people, staying busy, and telling myself I was "fine." Well then I got to the point where everything was shattered and I was broken and felt like my life had fallen into a million little pieces and some pieces were so small I'd never find them and put them back into place. For awhile that really bothered me, but it doesn't anymore, because for every empty space I have, God fills it, well He overflows it really. In my brokenness I realized how little I admitted things about losing my dad and grandma and the feelings I truly felt in my anxiety: I have some serious trust issues, I have a fear of not being in control of people and being with them at all times, it's hard for me to accept change, I lack forgiveness of myself, sometimes I love people too deeply too quickly and too easily, I'm often dishonest when people ask me how I truly feel, and I'm prone to sweep things under the rug. Well, if you've ever reached a point of such brokenness, you know how difficult it is to admit those things to yourself. The thought of admitting them to others is terrifying.
But I've been there. I've been at the bottom of a deep pit. I've known what it's like to have dark thoughts you'd rather not admit. I've had the feeling that I'm sinking so far underwater that no one can rescue me. I've wanted to give up. I've felt like there is no end in sight. And it's scary. It's scary to be in that place. I've felt so broken to the point that not even God could reach me. In my darkest days I couldn't feel Him. I prayed so hard and shed so many tears and felt nothing in return from Him. When I had those dark thoughts I expected Him to rescue me quickly and with urgency, and He didn't. But in all of that I realized He was being more faithful than ever. He had not forsaken me, but He gave me a choice. I could choose to continue to cling to Him knowing that salvation would come, or I could give up and make another, much darker choice. I chose Him. James 1:2-4 tells us "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." God tells us, not only in this verse, but many times in the Bible that we will face trials (thanks to good old Eve for taking that forbidden fruit). But the glory is that we will be rewarded for our faithfulness and perseverance.
We also aren't alone in our struggles. SAO's exec board decided to share our testimonies with sisters this semester. We've talked a lot about being vulnerable but how can we ask sisters to be vulnerable among each other and us if we aren't vulnerable with them? The answer is: we can't. I've been told I have a powerful testimony, and I do not wish to say that to boast, because I would not wish some of the things I've been through on my worst enemy. I say it to bring light to His goodness because of the incredible ways He's changed my heart and used my testimony to further His kingdom. He uses every testimony to the betterment of His kingdom, big or small. Anyway, there was some serious spiritual warfare that went on. I had dreams that my sisters laughed at me and walked out. I had a girls' night with one of my best friends from high school, Megan, and ended up crying hysterically for what seemed like no reason. Satan told me I should not, could not share my testimony because it would not be well received and would do harm and not good. Well, it did just the opposite. Exec sharing testimonies has opened doors with sisters and made it possible for anyone and everyone to come forward with their struggles if they choose to do so.
When we choose God, Satan loses in our brokenness. Satan rejoices when we are broken, and he wins a heart when we choose dark thoughts over Jesus. I can't say that on that dark night this summer when I chose Jesus that it got easy right away. It didn't. I cried for many nights, I doubted His goodness, I tried to give up my faith for a day, and dark days lay ahead for me. But now, almost a year (has it really been that long?) later, I have been victorious through Him. After all, that's what my name means, victory through faith (Victoria Faith). I know that the dark days aren't over, but I know that God is always light and He is always goodness.
I heard a song on the radio the other day that I've heard hundreds of times, but it really hit me. It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story, and in it she says
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know you're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
I thought, "dang, that has been my life lately." Every trial of this life has lead me to goodness. Every time I've thought God had let me down He really just had something better in mind. He has shown me mercy, goodness, faithfulness, and love that I never thought possible. He has done things in my life I never imagined. And He has changed my heart in ways I never thought possible, and all of this because I chose Him over darkness. Brokenness is a mercy in disguise, and for that we have much to rejoice in!
Smile, God loves you!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sigma Alpha Omega
As I reflect on formal last night, my heart swells with love for my sisters. Now, if you know me, you know I'm not quite the "sorority girl" type. And let me say, from having so many friends in Panhellenic sororities, that stigma is only true about 15% of the time. Anyway, I never thought I'd join a sorority in college. Like ever. Having 3 sisters I always said I grew up in a sorority house and never would join one in college. However, when people first met me and I tell them I'm in a Christian sorority and didn't go through Panhellenic Recruitment, they're surprised. And honestly, I think people on peg me as a "sorority girl" because of my hair, but oh well. Anyway, as I've stated on here previously, I didn't want to come to UGA. And those first few weeks at school were rough. SAO just seemed to fall from the sky and into my lap, but let's be real, we know it was sent straight from God.
My friend, Robin, told me about SAO and said we should go to an event during their recruitment. Please also keep in mind that at this time I wasn't totally sure about my faith. I had been saved and believed in Jesus as Lord, but I didn't really talk about it and I didn't full comprehend His all-consuming fire. So I went to a service event, and I wasn't completely hooked. Then a few nights later I went to the Worship Night that occurs ever year during recruitment and was so impressed by the sisters who made me feel welcome. I walked into the Chapel and the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me. I saw the beauty in each and every girl in there, and I felt God planting a seed in my heart. Little did I know how much that seed would grow. That night I also sat behind and met the girl who would become my big sis, Ansley, and little did I know how much that relationship would blossom. I was still pretty weary, but then I received a phone call that would ultimately change the course of my college career. Jackie called me and said that she, Andrew, and Kristy had spoken and wanted me to do it. Jackie said she had prayed about it and felt that it was what I was supposed to do and that the three of them would give me the first semester's dues for SAO. God does things in the strangest ways.
I also had no idea that on our New Member Retreat I would meet 2 of my 3 best friends in SAO. So I went through the Recruitment process and got initiated. My love for SAO bloomed and blossomed over the next year and a half, but my real love for it happened this summer.
When Bobby and I broke up, I was showered with love from my sisters. As that situation brought up a lot of pain from my past surrounding my dad and grandmother's death, and it brought so much brokenness to the surface, I would not have gotten through it without my sisters. Three of my best friends are my sisters, and they gave me some really tough love as I combed through my issues. They forced me to talk about it so they could pray for me. They refused to allow me to keep to myself and fall into a path of self-destruction. I would not have made it through without them. Not to mention my incredible big sis. It's funny how we didn't get close until after she graduated, but God does not make mistakes. And my sisterhood as a whole, my word!
God really pushed me at the beginning of this year to get to know other sisters, and I've challenged myself to do that, and it could not be a more rewarding experience. I realized it last night at formal as I jumped from group to group dancing the night away. And I hold a leadership position...wait what? At that service night over two years ago I never would have thought I'd be a leader. I didn't know any scripture, I didn't know what a true personal relationship with Christ was, but He does amazing things. Even a year ago I never would have thought I'd serve on the Executive Board, but I do, and I love it. Although it's stressful and we deal with some pretty tough situations, I'm learning the importance of handling every situation with grace and having to ask myself very often "what would Jesus do?" I've fallen many times on this path of salvation, and sometimes I felt like I'd fallen into a hole of sin that I could never climb out of. At times where I felt I was digging deeper and deeper into a hole that was so far from the surface that I'd never make it back up, a hand from one of my sisters would reach down to help me climb out of that hole.
I have an army of believers behind me at all times. Wow. Just, wow. When I fall to the sins of this darkened world, I have sisters in Christ who will keep me accountable. And when I fall, I fear no judgement from them, because they love me as Jesus does. They give me Godly advice about how to handle a situation, and they pray for me, and with me. I know I'm never alone in my struggles because, more often than not, they're struggling with the same thing(s). I thank the good Lord for my incredible sisters. I've learned that a relationship with God means a daily surrendering of your heart. Creating disciples of many nations does not mean pushing the Bible on someone or preaching to them. My sisters have taught me that the greatest influence you can have on a person is my setting a good example of what a Godly life looks like. You are vulnerable with your struggles and always point the glory to God. You can make the greatest impact by allowing His light to shine through you so brightly that others want to draw nearer to you to know what that is. He is good.
So to my beautiful, incredible, Godly sisters of Christ reading this, I love you.
Commit to the Dove.
Smile, God loves you.
My friend, Robin, told me about SAO and said we should go to an event during their recruitment. Please also keep in mind that at this time I wasn't totally sure about my faith. I had been saved and believed in Jesus as Lord, but I didn't really talk about it and I didn't full comprehend His all-consuming fire. So I went to a service event, and I wasn't completely hooked. Then a few nights later I went to the Worship Night that occurs ever year during recruitment and was so impressed by the sisters who made me feel welcome. I walked into the Chapel and the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me. I saw the beauty in each and every girl in there, and I felt God planting a seed in my heart. Little did I know how much that seed would grow. That night I also sat behind and met the girl who would become my big sis, Ansley, and little did I know how much that relationship would blossom. I was still pretty weary, but then I received a phone call that would ultimately change the course of my college career. Jackie called me and said that she, Andrew, and Kristy had spoken and wanted me to do it. Jackie said she had prayed about it and felt that it was what I was supposed to do and that the three of them would give me the first semester's dues for SAO. God does things in the strangest ways.
I also had no idea that on our New Member Retreat I would meet 2 of my 3 best friends in SAO. So I went through the Recruitment process and got initiated. My love for SAO bloomed and blossomed over the next year and a half, but my real love for it happened this summer.
When Bobby and I broke up, I was showered with love from my sisters. As that situation brought up a lot of pain from my past surrounding my dad and grandmother's death, and it brought so much brokenness to the surface, I would not have gotten through it without my sisters. Three of my best friends are my sisters, and they gave me some really tough love as I combed through my issues. They forced me to talk about it so they could pray for me. They refused to allow me to keep to myself and fall into a path of self-destruction. I would not have made it through without them. Not to mention my incredible big sis. It's funny how we didn't get close until after she graduated, but God does not make mistakes. And my sisterhood as a whole, my word!
God really pushed me at the beginning of this year to get to know other sisters, and I've challenged myself to do that, and it could not be a more rewarding experience. I realized it last night at formal as I jumped from group to group dancing the night away. And I hold a leadership position...wait what? At that service night over two years ago I never would have thought I'd be a leader. I didn't know any scripture, I didn't know what a true personal relationship with Christ was, but He does amazing things. Even a year ago I never would have thought I'd serve on the Executive Board, but I do, and I love it. Although it's stressful and we deal with some pretty tough situations, I'm learning the importance of handling every situation with grace and having to ask myself very often "what would Jesus do?" I've fallen many times on this path of salvation, and sometimes I felt like I'd fallen into a hole of sin that I could never climb out of. At times where I felt I was digging deeper and deeper into a hole that was so far from the surface that I'd never make it back up, a hand from one of my sisters would reach down to help me climb out of that hole.
I have an army of believers behind me at all times. Wow. Just, wow. When I fall to the sins of this darkened world, I have sisters in Christ who will keep me accountable. And when I fall, I fear no judgement from them, because they love me as Jesus does. They give me Godly advice about how to handle a situation, and they pray for me, and with me. I know I'm never alone in my struggles because, more often than not, they're struggling with the same thing(s). I thank the good Lord for my incredible sisters. I've learned that a relationship with God means a daily surrendering of your heart. Creating disciples of many nations does not mean pushing the Bible on someone or preaching to them. My sisters have taught me that the greatest influence you can have on a person is my setting a good example of what a Godly life looks like. You are vulnerable with your struggles and always point the glory to God. You can make the greatest impact by allowing His light to shine through you so brightly that others want to draw nearer to you to know what that is. He is good.
So to my beautiful, incredible, Godly sisters of Christ reading this, I love you.
Commit to the Dove.
Smile, God loves you.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Staying Positive
These past week was Spring Break, and while many of my peers spent their weeks on the beach drinking, partying, relaxing, and soaking up some sun, I spent mine in Chattanooga with two (now three) of my favorite little chickadees. The first few days I got to shopping with Mom, church with her and Grandpa, and relax at home. But on Tuesday I headed up to Chattanooga to spend some time with Jackie, Andrew, Caroline, and Drew, and anxiously await the arrival of baby Workmon #3.
On Tuesday Jackie, Andrew, and I spent some time watching 19 Kids and Counting before we all went to bed. I'm a firm believer in God's plan for our lives, but I'm not so sure 19 kids are in the cards for me in my future. However, I do think the world can learn a lot about how to value a marriage, your spouse, and raise children in a Christian household. One thing I noticed throughout watching the TV show is how positive the family is. At one point 5 of the younger Dugger children got sick with a stomach bug. While one parent was cleaning up vomit, the other was watching a runny nose, and both were trying to catch the vomit of another child, etc. Now, I've been thrown up on, wiped snotty noses, and held a sick, fussy, and miserable child. I'm just an aunt so I can always give that child back to his/her parents. And I know that it's frustrating, aggravating, tiring, and pretty miserable. But what did Michelle Duggar do? Said what a blessing it was that she was able to have snuggle time with her little ones. A blessing to have 5 children under the age of 7 sick. Really?
The next episode featured the family traveling to Japan. That's a looooong flight. And Anna, the oldest son's wife, who has two little ones, said it was "difficult" at times to keep little ones occupied on such a long flight, but it was a fun experience. I don't call that fun, I'd call that miserable. I said out loud just how positive they were, and Jackie said she's tried to use a lot of the tactics that Michelle Duggar uses when disciplining Caroline and Drew. She said she learns to stay calm even when she wants to scream. I suddenly felt incredibly convicted...how often am I positive in the challenges of every day life?
If you know me, you know I tend to be pretty dramatic and irrational. I've worked a lot in the 6 months about not reacting to situations in irrational ways. I work hard to accept my feelings, rather than challenge them and I often find myself saying, "Victoria. You're angry right now, you're angry about _____. Take a deep breath, think for a minute, then act," and it's helped a lot. Not to say I don't slip up and act in irrational ways, but I think we're all works in progress. God did not create me to be an irrational being. He created darkness so I could see the light, His light. Even in just the little challenges of every day life it's easy to feel alone. Sometimes I do get lonely. I stay so busy at school but in a calm moment I take a minute to relax and then I'm like "ok now what?" I also tend to get anxious at home. I LOVE spending time with my mom and grandpa, but when Mom is at work and then Grandpa goes about his routine, it can get a little lonely and a little boring. And with everything I went through this summer, sometimes I'll look at something and get reminded of how depressed I was. It's nice to look at how far I've come, but if you've ever suffered from depression, you know how easy it is to slip back into that misery.
Before I left for Chattanooga, I was reading for my quiet time and came across this verse
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." -John 14:18
And I thought, dang. And I reread it, and reread it, and reread it. Jesus will not leave me. I have no reason to be lonely, because Jesus is always with me. That, in and of itself, is something to be positive about! So that first night in TN Caroline asked to sleep in the guest bedroom with me, or "Toria's bed please" as she says. I, being the pushover aunt that I am, said yes, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep. And as I was awakened about 40 minutes after I fell asleep because I was smacked in the face, I started to get annoyed. Not angry by any means but just thinking that it would be a long night. Then I looked over at that sweet little girl with her blanket and princess pajamas and thought "how lucky am I?" In a few more years Caroline won't want to sleep in the same bed and snuggle with her aunt. Someday I will stop being the "cool" aunt (but let's be real, I probably won't ever stop being the cool aunt because I'm so much younger than my sisters and they're just old, hehe). The second night Jackie and Andrew stayed in the hospital (or hopspital or Caroline calls in) Drew woke up screaming. I went in and picked him up and rocked him. I was tired and he would just not fall asleep, but I still got to snuggle with him and rock him which I haven't done since he was 6 months old. If you know sweet Drewbie Drew, then you know that boy is always on the move. Poor Jackie can't turn around for a second without Drew getting into something. So I stayed positive just getting to hold him and snuggle him. Of course I rocked him for half an hour and he never fell asleep, but Nana held him for 5 minutes and he was out, but I guess Nana's just have that special touch.
As I drove from Chattanooga to Marietta and then Marietta to Athens, I felt so convicted about how I haven't been very positive lately, and I had to sit there and ask myself if I was really living my life as a Christian should. Is my gaze fixed on Him? Do I turn to Him in the good times just as much as I do in the bad? Do I praise Him for the bad things and for the challenges and interruptions in my day? Do my decisions and actions occasionally cause others to fall, or do they build them up? Do I season my conversations with salt so that I know how to respond to people with grace and patience? Honestly, about 75% of the time, the answer to the above questions is no. But through His grace I know that's OK. My sins are covered by Jesus' blood, and whatever mistakes I make will be forgiven, and always will be. I am never alone because Jesus constantly intercedes on my behalf, and praise the Lord for that because I am incredibly unworthy. I ask those of you reading this to help keep me accountable to living this Christian life. I so badly want to be a light in this forever darkened world. I want God to use my testimony to do great things. I want to let my actions proudly point to Him. I want to show people the glory that comes with being a child of the one and only King.
Because He is King: the one who was, and is, and is to come.
Smile, God loves you!
On Tuesday Jackie, Andrew, and I spent some time watching 19 Kids and Counting before we all went to bed. I'm a firm believer in God's plan for our lives, but I'm not so sure 19 kids are in the cards for me in my future. However, I do think the world can learn a lot about how to value a marriage, your spouse, and raise children in a Christian household. One thing I noticed throughout watching the TV show is how positive the family is. At one point 5 of the younger Dugger children got sick with a stomach bug. While one parent was cleaning up vomit, the other was watching a runny nose, and both were trying to catch the vomit of another child, etc. Now, I've been thrown up on, wiped snotty noses, and held a sick, fussy, and miserable child. I'm just an aunt so I can always give that child back to his/her parents. And I know that it's frustrating, aggravating, tiring, and pretty miserable. But what did Michelle Duggar do? Said what a blessing it was that she was able to have snuggle time with her little ones. A blessing to have 5 children under the age of 7 sick. Really?
The next episode featured the family traveling to Japan. That's a looooong flight. And Anna, the oldest son's wife, who has two little ones, said it was "difficult" at times to keep little ones occupied on such a long flight, but it was a fun experience. I don't call that fun, I'd call that miserable. I said out loud just how positive they were, and Jackie said she's tried to use a lot of the tactics that Michelle Duggar uses when disciplining Caroline and Drew. She said she learns to stay calm even when she wants to scream. I suddenly felt incredibly convicted...how often am I positive in the challenges of every day life?
If you know me, you know I tend to be pretty dramatic and irrational. I've worked a lot in the 6 months about not reacting to situations in irrational ways. I work hard to accept my feelings, rather than challenge them and I often find myself saying, "Victoria. You're angry right now, you're angry about _____. Take a deep breath, think for a minute, then act," and it's helped a lot. Not to say I don't slip up and act in irrational ways, but I think we're all works in progress. God did not create me to be an irrational being. He created darkness so I could see the light, His light. Even in just the little challenges of every day life it's easy to feel alone. Sometimes I do get lonely. I stay so busy at school but in a calm moment I take a minute to relax and then I'm like "ok now what?" I also tend to get anxious at home. I LOVE spending time with my mom and grandpa, but when Mom is at work and then Grandpa goes about his routine, it can get a little lonely and a little boring. And with everything I went through this summer, sometimes I'll look at something and get reminded of how depressed I was. It's nice to look at how far I've come, but if you've ever suffered from depression, you know how easy it is to slip back into that misery.
Before I left for Chattanooga, I was reading for my quiet time and came across this verse
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." -John 14:18
And I thought, dang. And I reread it, and reread it, and reread it. Jesus will not leave me. I have no reason to be lonely, because Jesus is always with me. That, in and of itself, is something to be positive about! So that first night in TN Caroline asked to sleep in the guest bedroom with me, or "Toria's bed please" as she says. I, being the pushover aunt that I am, said yes, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep. And as I was awakened about 40 minutes after I fell asleep because I was smacked in the face, I started to get annoyed. Not angry by any means but just thinking that it would be a long night. Then I looked over at that sweet little girl with her blanket and princess pajamas and thought "how lucky am I?" In a few more years Caroline won't want to sleep in the same bed and snuggle with her aunt. Someday I will stop being the "cool" aunt (but let's be real, I probably won't ever stop being the cool aunt because I'm so much younger than my sisters and they're just old, hehe). The second night Jackie and Andrew stayed in the hospital (or hopspital or Caroline calls in) Drew woke up screaming. I went in and picked him up and rocked him. I was tired and he would just not fall asleep, but I still got to snuggle with him and rock him which I haven't done since he was 6 months old. If you know sweet Drewbie Drew, then you know that boy is always on the move. Poor Jackie can't turn around for a second without Drew getting into something. So I stayed positive just getting to hold him and snuggle him. Of course I rocked him for half an hour and he never fell asleep, but Nana held him for 5 minutes and he was out, but I guess Nana's just have that special touch.
As I drove from Chattanooga to Marietta and then Marietta to Athens, I felt so convicted about how I haven't been very positive lately, and I had to sit there and ask myself if I was really living my life as a Christian should. Is my gaze fixed on Him? Do I turn to Him in the good times just as much as I do in the bad? Do I praise Him for the bad things and for the challenges and interruptions in my day? Do my decisions and actions occasionally cause others to fall, or do they build them up? Do I season my conversations with salt so that I know how to respond to people with grace and patience? Honestly, about 75% of the time, the answer to the above questions is no. But through His grace I know that's OK. My sins are covered by Jesus' blood, and whatever mistakes I make will be forgiven, and always will be. I am never alone because Jesus constantly intercedes on my behalf, and praise the Lord for that because I am incredibly unworthy. I ask those of you reading this to help keep me accountable to living this Christian life. I so badly want to be a light in this forever darkened world. I want God to use my testimony to do great things. I want to let my actions proudly point to Him. I want to show people the glory that comes with being a child of the one and only King.
Because He is King: the one who was, and is, and is to come.
Smile, God loves you!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
It's not easy being a girl.
My SAO sisters and I went on our annual sisterhood retreat this weekend, and as I looked out on the sea of beautiful young women of Christ, I was filled with love for them. As we broke into small groups and talked about our struggles, I realized how much we tend to doubt God and the beautiful beings He's created us to be. It's hard to be a girl in this world. Women are often devalued and held to high expectations. Society teaches us and constantly tells us we are unworthy of what we're given. The enemy takes these ideas and runs with them. He tells us we are unworthy of a man of God; unworthy of a beautiful life; unworthy of our jobs; and so much more. We had a wonderful guest speaker at the retreat this weekend, and she said one thing that really hit me. She said that being a woman of God means allowing His beauty to shine from the inside out. She said that there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a young woman walk around campus and knowing that she isn't comparing herself to the girls she passes on her walk. Then I thought, "when is the last time I didn't compare myself to another girl?" And honestly, I couldn't give you an answer about that.
Walking to my classes, my thoughts often go a little like this: "Ugh, I wish my legs were as skinny as her's. I wish my hair could look that way. How does she look so nice this early in the morning? She looks happy; I wonder if I could be that happy. Her bags are so cute; there's no way I could afford them," and the list goes on and on. Girls reading this, don't deny that you often think these same thoughts or some very similar.
What's keeping us from walking around knowing that we are beautiful daughters of the King? That we're loved, cherished, pure, worthy? Satan, that's what. And I loathe him. Every doubt he places in our minds and hearts is a lie. We know this, yet we continue to believe him anyway. Why? Because it's often easier to believe the lies of the enemy than believe the truths that our God loves us. And it's because this dark world we live in tells us that what the enemy says is true. Society tells us that that the "bad boy" can be changed, and you can change him, that it's ok to go out and get drunk and sleep with random men, that having sex with that guy will make him stick around, that men of Christ don't exist so it's better to settle for what you have, that only being youthful is beautiful, that you have to look a certain way and dress a certain way to be loved, and this list continues.
When these thoughts occur in my head I often have to tell myself that it's a lie. I tell myself that Satan is a liar and all he has to say is a lie. But then I find myself focusing on the lies, and God isn't glorified in that, Satan is. So I have to switch and tell myself the truths, but satan then tells me that those truths are lies. That's some serious social warfare there people. It's annoying, honestly. I figure the majority of people who read this are young women around my age, so I ask you to join me in rebuking the enemy's lies. I ask you to start a journey with me of believing that we are daughters of the King. I ask you to join me in repeatedly telling ourselves the truths: that we are wanted, chosen, beautiful, pure, worthy, wanted, cherished, desired, and loved by the Creator of the universe. If He took the time out of His busy schedule to form us in our mother's womb and know the number of hairs on our head, then He must love us a whole lot. So join me on this journey.
On this weekend with my sisters I realized how many people read this silly blog. I think sometimes it's easier for me to hide behind this computer screen because I don't have to watch the reactions of others as they "hear" what I have to say because quite honestly, I'm terrified of what they're reactions may be. Yet another lie, because I get some really positive feedback about how God is using me with this blog.
Which leads me to another thing. We all know I want to be a teacher, and that desire still burns bright within me, but through writing this blog and my leadership position in SAO, a new desire has been born. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, but again that little voice in my head has told me that it will never happen and that I'm not worthy of it, but a desire has arisen in my heart to minister to young women. I sometimes dream of one day being able to write a book about being a young woman of Christ and of being able to go across the country speaking and joining in fellowship of young women. I'd like to open a young women's ministry. Maybe this is something silly, but a seed has been planted and I really want to see what God does with it.
But really, as young women, let's remember the truths that our Father tells us, and rebuke the lies the enemy puts in our heads. He is bigger. He is greater. He is truth.
Smile, God loves you!
Walking to my classes, my thoughts often go a little like this: "Ugh, I wish my legs were as skinny as her's. I wish my hair could look that way. How does she look so nice this early in the morning? She looks happy; I wonder if I could be that happy. Her bags are so cute; there's no way I could afford them," and the list goes on and on. Girls reading this, don't deny that you often think these same thoughts or some very similar.
What's keeping us from walking around knowing that we are beautiful daughters of the King? That we're loved, cherished, pure, worthy? Satan, that's what. And I loathe him. Every doubt he places in our minds and hearts is a lie. We know this, yet we continue to believe him anyway. Why? Because it's often easier to believe the lies of the enemy than believe the truths that our God loves us. And it's because this dark world we live in tells us that what the enemy says is true. Society tells us that that the "bad boy" can be changed, and you can change him, that it's ok to go out and get drunk and sleep with random men, that having sex with that guy will make him stick around, that men of Christ don't exist so it's better to settle for what you have, that only being youthful is beautiful, that you have to look a certain way and dress a certain way to be loved, and this list continues.
When these thoughts occur in my head I often have to tell myself that it's a lie. I tell myself that Satan is a liar and all he has to say is a lie. But then I find myself focusing on the lies, and God isn't glorified in that, Satan is. So I have to switch and tell myself the truths, but satan then tells me that those truths are lies. That's some serious social warfare there people. It's annoying, honestly. I figure the majority of people who read this are young women around my age, so I ask you to join me in rebuking the enemy's lies. I ask you to start a journey with me of believing that we are daughters of the King. I ask you to join me in repeatedly telling ourselves the truths: that we are wanted, chosen, beautiful, pure, worthy, wanted, cherished, desired, and loved by the Creator of the universe. If He took the time out of His busy schedule to form us in our mother's womb and know the number of hairs on our head, then He must love us a whole lot. So join me on this journey.
On this weekend with my sisters I realized how many people read this silly blog. I think sometimes it's easier for me to hide behind this computer screen because I don't have to watch the reactions of others as they "hear" what I have to say because quite honestly, I'm terrified of what they're reactions may be. Yet another lie, because I get some really positive feedback about how God is using me with this blog.
Which leads me to another thing. We all know I want to be a teacher, and that desire still burns bright within me, but through writing this blog and my leadership position in SAO, a new desire has been born. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, but again that little voice in my head has told me that it will never happen and that I'm not worthy of it, but a desire has arisen in my heart to minister to young women. I sometimes dream of one day being able to write a book about being a young woman of Christ and of being able to go across the country speaking and joining in fellowship of young women. I'd like to open a young women's ministry. Maybe this is something silly, but a seed has been planted and I really want to see what God does with it.
But really, as young women, let's remember the truths that our Father tells us, and rebuke the lies the enemy puts in our heads. He is bigger. He is greater. He is truth.
Smile, God loves you!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The RA Diaries
Yesterday was the day that about 250 young applicants found out whether or not they were accepted as a Resident Assistant for the 2013-2014 school year, and it took me back to that day 2 years ago when I found out I'd be working in Brumby.
For those of you not familiar with UGA Residence Halls, Brumby has been an all-female residence hall since it opened in 1966. It has a reputation for being the "strictest" residence hall. When young women find out that they will spend their freshman year in Brumby, they usually roll their eyes and try to live in another hall. Although the visitation rules are the same in the majority of the residence halls, staff in Brumby can usually tell if someone is here after hours pretty readily. I'll give you a clue: he's a guy. If we see a guy between the hours of 2-10am Monday-Thursday, he's not supposed to be here. We can also spot pretty readily if a boy is un-escorted (aka wandering the halls alone) because, again, he's a boy and most definitely doesn't live here. I had to document an escort violation last year with some slightly intoxicated boys and one of them told me he lived here and when I said I knew for a fact that he didn't, he challenged me and said I "didn't know his life." I said that was very well but he couldn't live here because it was an all-female building. Needless to say that shut him up and also embarrassed him to no end. Anyway, next year Brumby will be co-ed, and I have to say that that scares me. I LOVE Brumby. I'm weird, I know, but there is just something so nice about working on an all-female staff. There's a camaraderie among female staff- we compete to see who has the cutest bulletin boards every month, but in a healthy way, but we compliment each other's work ethics and programs and bulletin boards. Yes, this can happen with males on our staff, but it's so nice that in a world where women typically bring each other down, that I can work on a staff where my co-workers constantly build me up. Being a Christian, obviously I believe God wants me to work in a co-ed building next year, and in this instance, change is a good thing. After 40+ years Brumby is evolving, and I'm so fortunate to get to witness that change.
Now, back to getting my acceptance letter 2 years ago...man oh man I had zero idea what I was in for. I've decided to compile a little piece of what I'd like to call "The RA Diaries" including many things I've learned and some tips and tricks...
-You will learn an insane amount of acronyms when starting this job. I bet you all don't know that in addition to being an RA, I work with CAs, DAs, OAs, GRs, an RHD, an AC, and BSWs. I also use programs called CRIS and JA and fill out a piece of paperwork called an RFP. I get my bulletin board supplies from an RPS office. This is no where near and exhaustive list.
-Get used to being called a "bitch." It happens, but at the end of the day you're doing you're job and can remain confident in that.
-No, there is no initiation to be an RA, but there is a secret club that we don't talk about. Once you clean up vomit or some other bodily "fluid," you're part of that "club."
-Speaking of vomit, expect to clean it up several times, including the middle of the night.
-Always have tissues in your room. Sometimes people just need someone to listen while they cry.
-Food is your greatest weapon, especially Chick Fil A. People will come to your program when there is food.
-Listen to what your residents do in their spare time and what they like. If you can plan a program around it, you'll have more people show up and more meaningful experiences.
-The worst sound in the world is the shrill ringing of the duty phone at 3 am. Your first thought, "someone better be dying." But of course you would NEVER want that, but hey, it's what happens when you're woken up mid- REM cycle.
-People will not take you seriously when you're trying to confront an incident in Spider Man boxers. You may be wearing your Housing Polo and ID badge, but they're just staring at your boxers.
-The Housing Polo is the sexiest piece of clothing you'll ever have. Said no one ever. You'll get paranoid when you're on duty and sleep in it on nights that you know are going to be bad.
-Your staff will become a second family. You will bond over using the Vendor Card at Piggly Wiggly, exchange funny stories, and they'll be your support system when you feel like everything is falling apart.
-Confrontation is not a bad thing. It's healthy. If you stay calm, that drunk person you're confronting will too. Never yell. Don't even raise your voice.
-People instantly sober up when you say the police can get involved.
-Fraternity formal time=cooler time. By the end of that season, you will never want to see another cooler again.
-Your dinner break while on duty is sacred. It's your 45 minutes to get out of the building, use it.
-It's much easier to go in strict and be slightly intimidating and then loosen the reigns than try to tighten them as the year goes on.
-Most importantly, your residents will surprise you. They'll leave you sweet notes, you'll hear them pass by your room and say they like you. You'll adopt residents on your hall to the point that you forget that certain people aren't actually your residents.
-Working with freshmen is both rewarding and frustrating. They will experiment with their freedom, but you'll also get to witness them grow and learn and make some pretty awesome decisions.
-Welcome interruptions. They'll happen, especially the night before classes start. Don't expect to have more than 10 minute intervals to yourself. An open door means anyone is welcome. A closed door means you're available as needed. Lock your door when you're changing or just get out of the shower. Some residents like to barge in.
-Take time to enjoy the experience. Take a night away from your friends and invite your residents to come watch a movie in your room. You'll never regret the bonding that happens.
-Never give up on yourself, and NEVER give up on your residents. You'll never find another job like this. You won't ever learn this quickly or "as you go" like you do on this job.
I'm sure my fellow Housing buddies will enjoy this. I do love my job.
Smile, God loves you!
For those of you not familiar with UGA Residence Halls, Brumby has been an all-female residence hall since it opened in 1966. It has a reputation for being the "strictest" residence hall. When young women find out that they will spend their freshman year in Brumby, they usually roll their eyes and try to live in another hall. Although the visitation rules are the same in the majority of the residence halls, staff in Brumby can usually tell if someone is here after hours pretty readily. I'll give you a clue: he's a guy. If we see a guy between the hours of 2-10am Monday-Thursday, he's not supposed to be here. We can also spot pretty readily if a boy is un-escorted (aka wandering the halls alone) because, again, he's a boy and most definitely doesn't live here. I had to document an escort violation last year with some slightly intoxicated boys and one of them told me he lived here and when I said I knew for a fact that he didn't, he challenged me and said I "didn't know his life." I said that was very well but he couldn't live here because it was an all-female building. Needless to say that shut him up and also embarrassed him to no end. Anyway, next year Brumby will be co-ed, and I have to say that that scares me. I LOVE Brumby. I'm weird, I know, but there is just something so nice about working on an all-female staff. There's a camaraderie among female staff- we compete to see who has the cutest bulletin boards every month, but in a healthy way, but we compliment each other's work ethics and programs and bulletin boards. Yes, this can happen with males on our staff, but it's so nice that in a world where women typically bring each other down, that I can work on a staff where my co-workers constantly build me up. Being a Christian, obviously I believe God wants me to work in a co-ed building next year, and in this instance, change is a good thing. After 40+ years Brumby is evolving, and I'm so fortunate to get to witness that change.
Now, back to getting my acceptance letter 2 years ago...man oh man I had zero idea what I was in for. I've decided to compile a little piece of what I'd like to call "The RA Diaries" including many things I've learned and some tips and tricks...
-You will learn an insane amount of acronyms when starting this job. I bet you all don't know that in addition to being an RA, I work with CAs, DAs, OAs, GRs, an RHD, an AC, and BSWs. I also use programs called CRIS and JA and fill out a piece of paperwork called an RFP. I get my bulletin board supplies from an RPS office. This is no where near and exhaustive list.
-Get used to being called a "bitch." It happens, but at the end of the day you're doing you're job and can remain confident in that.
-No, there is no initiation to be an RA, but there is a secret club that we don't talk about. Once you clean up vomit or some other bodily "fluid," you're part of that "club."
-Speaking of vomit, expect to clean it up several times, including the middle of the night.
-Always have tissues in your room. Sometimes people just need someone to listen while they cry.
-Food is your greatest weapon, especially Chick Fil A. People will come to your program when there is food.
-Listen to what your residents do in their spare time and what they like. If you can plan a program around it, you'll have more people show up and more meaningful experiences.
-The worst sound in the world is the shrill ringing of the duty phone at 3 am. Your first thought, "someone better be dying." But of course you would NEVER want that, but hey, it's what happens when you're woken up mid- REM cycle.
-People will not take you seriously when you're trying to confront an incident in Spider Man boxers. You may be wearing your Housing Polo and ID badge, but they're just staring at your boxers.
-The Housing Polo is the sexiest piece of clothing you'll ever have. Said no one ever. You'll get paranoid when you're on duty and sleep in it on nights that you know are going to be bad.
-Your staff will become a second family. You will bond over using the Vendor Card at Piggly Wiggly, exchange funny stories, and they'll be your support system when you feel like everything is falling apart.
-Confrontation is not a bad thing. It's healthy. If you stay calm, that drunk person you're confronting will too. Never yell. Don't even raise your voice.
-People instantly sober up when you say the police can get involved.
-Fraternity formal time=cooler time. By the end of that season, you will never want to see another cooler again.
-Your dinner break while on duty is sacred. It's your 45 minutes to get out of the building, use it.
-It's much easier to go in strict and be slightly intimidating and then loosen the reigns than try to tighten them as the year goes on.
-Most importantly, your residents will surprise you. They'll leave you sweet notes, you'll hear them pass by your room and say they like you. You'll adopt residents on your hall to the point that you forget that certain people aren't actually your residents.
-Working with freshmen is both rewarding and frustrating. They will experiment with their freedom, but you'll also get to witness them grow and learn and make some pretty awesome decisions.
-Welcome interruptions. They'll happen, especially the night before classes start. Don't expect to have more than 10 minute intervals to yourself. An open door means anyone is welcome. A closed door means you're available as needed. Lock your door when you're changing or just get out of the shower. Some residents like to barge in.
-Take time to enjoy the experience. Take a night away from your friends and invite your residents to come watch a movie in your room. You'll never regret the bonding that happens.
-Never give up on yourself, and NEVER give up on your residents. You'll never find another job like this. You won't ever learn this quickly or "as you go" like you do on this job.
I'm sure my fellow Housing buddies will enjoy this. I do love my job.
Smile, God loves you!
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