As I reflect on formal last night, my heart swells with love for my sisters. Now, if you know me, you know I'm not quite the "sorority girl" type. And let me say, from having so many friends in Panhellenic sororities, that stigma is only true about 15% of the time. Anyway, I never thought I'd join a sorority in college. Like ever. Having 3 sisters I always said I grew up in a sorority house and never would join one in college. However, when people first met me and I tell them I'm in a Christian sorority and didn't go through Panhellenic Recruitment, they're surprised. And honestly, I think people on peg me as a "sorority girl" because of my hair, but oh well. Anyway, as I've stated on here previously, I didn't want to come to UGA. And those first few weeks at school were rough. SAO just seemed to fall from the sky and into my lap, but let's be real, we know it was sent straight from God.
My friend, Robin, told me about SAO and said we should go to an event during their recruitment. Please also keep in mind that at this time I wasn't totally sure about my faith. I had been saved and believed in Jesus as Lord, but I didn't really talk about it and I didn't full comprehend His all-consuming fire. So I went to a service event, and I wasn't completely hooked. Then a few nights later I went to the Worship Night that occurs ever year during recruitment and was so impressed by the sisters who made me feel welcome. I walked into the Chapel and the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me. I saw the beauty in each and every girl in there, and I felt God planting a seed in my heart. Little did I know how much that seed would grow. That night I also sat behind and met the girl who would become my big sis, Ansley, and little did I know how much that relationship would blossom. I was still pretty weary, but then I received a phone call that would ultimately change the course of my college career. Jackie called me and said that she, Andrew, and Kristy had spoken and wanted me to do it. Jackie said she had prayed about it and felt that it was what I was supposed to do and that the three of them would give me the first semester's dues for SAO. God does things in the strangest ways.
I also had no idea that on our New Member Retreat I would meet 2 of my 3 best friends in SAO. So I went through the Recruitment process and got initiated. My love for SAO bloomed and blossomed over the next year and a half, but my real love for it happened this summer.
When Bobby and I broke up, I was showered with love from my sisters. As that situation brought up a lot of pain from my past surrounding my dad and grandmother's death, and it brought so much brokenness to the surface, I would not have gotten through it without my sisters. Three of my best friends are my sisters, and they gave me some really tough love as I combed through my issues. They forced me to talk about it so they could pray for me. They refused to allow me to keep to myself and fall into a path of self-destruction. I would not have made it through without them. Not to mention my incredible big sis. It's funny how we didn't get close until after she graduated, but God does not make mistakes. And my sisterhood as a whole, my word!
God really pushed me at the beginning of this year to get to know other sisters, and I've challenged myself to do that, and it could not be a more rewarding experience. I realized it last night at formal as I jumped from group to group dancing the night away. And I hold a leadership position...wait what? At that service night over two years ago I never would have thought I'd be a leader. I didn't know any scripture, I didn't know what a true personal relationship with Christ was, but He does amazing things. Even a year ago I never would have thought I'd serve on the Executive Board, but I do, and I love it. Although it's stressful and we deal with some pretty tough situations, I'm learning the importance of handling every situation with grace and having to ask myself very often "what would Jesus do?" I've fallen many times on this path of salvation, and sometimes I felt like I'd fallen into a hole of sin that I could never climb out of. At times where I felt I was digging deeper and deeper into a hole that was so far from the surface that I'd never make it back up, a hand from one of my sisters would reach down to help me climb out of that hole.
I have an army of believers behind me at all times. Wow. Just, wow. When I fall to the sins of this darkened world, I have sisters in Christ who will keep me accountable. And when I fall, I fear no judgement from them, because they love me as Jesus does. They give me Godly advice about how to handle a situation, and they pray for me, and with me. I know I'm never alone in my struggles because, more often than not, they're struggling with the same thing(s). I thank the good Lord for my incredible sisters. I've learned that a relationship with God means a daily surrendering of your heart. Creating disciples of many nations does not mean pushing the Bible on someone or preaching to them. My sisters have taught me that the greatest influence you can have on a person is my setting a good example of what a Godly life looks like. You are vulnerable with your struggles and always point the glory to God. You can make the greatest impact by allowing His light to shine through you so brightly that others want to draw nearer to you to know what that is. He is good.
So to my beautiful, incredible, Godly sisters of Christ reading this, I love you.
Commit to the Dove.
Smile, God loves you.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Staying Positive
These past week was Spring Break, and while many of my peers spent their weeks on the beach drinking, partying, relaxing, and soaking up some sun, I spent mine in Chattanooga with two (now three) of my favorite little chickadees. The first few days I got to shopping with Mom, church with her and Grandpa, and relax at home. But on Tuesday I headed up to Chattanooga to spend some time with Jackie, Andrew, Caroline, and Drew, and anxiously await the arrival of baby Workmon #3.
On Tuesday Jackie, Andrew, and I spent some time watching 19 Kids and Counting before we all went to bed. I'm a firm believer in God's plan for our lives, but I'm not so sure 19 kids are in the cards for me in my future. However, I do think the world can learn a lot about how to value a marriage, your spouse, and raise children in a Christian household. One thing I noticed throughout watching the TV show is how positive the family is. At one point 5 of the younger Dugger children got sick with a stomach bug. While one parent was cleaning up vomit, the other was watching a runny nose, and both were trying to catch the vomit of another child, etc. Now, I've been thrown up on, wiped snotty noses, and held a sick, fussy, and miserable child. I'm just an aunt so I can always give that child back to his/her parents. And I know that it's frustrating, aggravating, tiring, and pretty miserable. But what did Michelle Duggar do? Said what a blessing it was that she was able to have snuggle time with her little ones. A blessing to have 5 children under the age of 7 sick. Really?
The next episode featured the family traveling to Japan. That's a looooong flight. And Anna, the oldest son's wife, who has two little ones, said it was "difficult" at times to keep little ones occupied on such a long flight, but it was a fun experience. I don't call that fun, I'd call that miserable. I said out loud just how positive they were, and Jackie said she's tried to use a lot of the tactics that Michelle Duggar uses when disciplining Caroline and Drew. She said she learns to stay calm even when she wants to scream. I suddenly felt incredibly convicted...how often am I positive in the challenges of every day life?
If you know me, you know I tend to be pretty dramatic and irrational. I've worked a lot in the 6 months about not reacting to situations in irrational ways. I work hard to accept my feelings, rather than challenge them and I often find myself saying, "Victoria. You're angry right now, you're angry about _____. Take a deep breath, think for a minute, then act," and it's helped a lot. Not to say I don't slip up and act in irrational ways, but I think we're all works in progress. God did not create me to be an irrational being. He created darkness so I could see the light, His light. Even in just the little challenges of every day life it's easy to feel alone. Sometimes I do get lonely. I stay so busy at school but in a calm moment I take a minute to relax and then I'm like "ok now what?" I also tend to get anxious at home. I LOVE spending time with my mom and grandpa, but when Mom is at work and then Grandpa goes about his routine, it can get a little lonely and a little boring. And with everything I went through this summer, sometimes I'll look at something and get reminded of how depressed I was. It's nice to look at how far I've come, but if you've ever suffered from depression, you know how easy it is to slip back into that misery.
Before I left for Chattanooga, I was reading for my quiet time and came across this verse
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." -John 14:18
And I thought, dang. And I reread it, and reread it, and reread it. Jesus will not leave me. I have no reason to be lonely, because Jesus is always with me. That, in and of itself, is something to be positive about! So that first night in TN Caroline asked to sleep in the guest bedroom with me, or "Toria's bed please" as she says. I, being the pushover aunt that I am, said yes, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep. And as I was awakened about 40 minutes after I fell asleep because I was smacked in the face, I started to get annoyed. Not angry by any means but just thinking that it would be a long night. Then I looked over at that sweet little girl with her blanket and princess pajamas and thought "how lucky am I?" In a few more years Caroline won't want to sleep in the same bed and snuggle with her aunt. Someday I will stop being the "cool" aunt (but let's be real, I probably won't ever stop being the cool aunt because I'm so much younger than my sisters and they're just old, hehe). The second night Jackie and Andrew stayed in the hospital (or hopspital or Caroline calls in) Drew woke up screaming. I went in and picked him up and rocked him. I was tired and he would just not fall asleep, but I still got to snuggle with him and rock him which I haven't done since he was 6 months old. If you know sweet Drewbie Drew, then you know that boy is always on the move. Poor Jackie can't turn around for a second without Drew getting into something. So I stayed positive just getting to hold him and snuggle him. Of course I rocked him for half an hour and he never fell asleep, but Nana held him for 5 minutes and he was out, but I guess Nana's just have that special touch.
As I drove from Chattanooga to Marietta and then Marietta to Athens, I felt so convicted about how I haven't been very positive lately, and I had to sit there and ask myself if I was really living my life as a Christian should. Is my gaze fixed on Him? Do I turn to Him in the good times just as much as I do in the bad? Do I praise Him for the bad things and for the challenges and interruptions in my day? Do my decisions and actions occasionally cause others to fall, or do they build them up? Do I season my conversations with salt so that I know how to respond to people with grace and patience? Honestly, about 75% of the time, the answer to the above questions is no. But through His grace I know that's OK. My sins are covered by Jesus' blood, and whatever mistakes I make will be forgiven, and always will be. I am never alone because Jesus constantly intercedes on my behalf, and praise the Lord for that because I am incredibly unworthy. I ask those of you reading this to help keep me accountable to living this Christian life. I so badly want to be a light in this forever darkened world. I want God to use my testimony to do great things. I want to let my actions proudly point to Him. I want to show people the glory that comes with being a child of the one and only King.
Because He is King: the one who was, and is, and is to come.
Smile, God loves you!
On Tuesday Jackie, Andrew, and I spent some time watching 19 Kids and Counting before we all went to bed. I'm a firm believer in God's plan for our lives, but I'm not so sure 19 kids are in the cards for me in my future. However, I do think the world can learn a lot about how to value a marriage, your spouse, and raise children in a Christian household. One thing I noticed throughout watching the TV show is how positive the family is. At one point 5 of the younger Dugger children got sick with a stomach bug. While one parent was cleaning up vomit, the other was watching a runny nose, and both were trying to catch the vomit of another child, etc. Now, I've been thrown up on, wiped snotty noses, and held a sick, fussy, and miserable child. I'm just an aunt so I can always give that child back to his/her parents. And I know that it's frustrating, aggravating, tiring, and pretty miserable. But what did Michelle Duggar do? Said what a blessing it was that she was able to have snuggle time with her little ones. A blessing to have 5 children under the age of 7 sick. Really?
The next episode featured the family traveling to Japan. That's a looooong flight. And Anna, the oldest son's wife, who has two little ones, said it was "difficult" at times to keep little ones occupied on such a long flight, but it was a fun experience. I don't call that fun, I'd call that miserable. I said out loud just how positive they were, and Jackie said she's tried to use a lot of the tactics that Michelle Duggar uses when disciplining Caroline and Drew. She said she learns to stay calm even when she wants to scream. I suddenly felt incredibly convicted...how often am I positive in the challenges of every day life?
If you know me, you know I tend to be pretty dramatic and irrational. I've worked a lot in the 6 months about not reacting to situations in irrational ways. I work hard to accept my feelings, rather than challenge them and I often find myself saying, "Victoria. You're angry right now, you're angry about _____. Take a deep breath, think for a minute, then act," and it's helped a lot. Not to say I don't slip up and act in irrational ways, but I think we're all works in progress. God did not create me to be an irrational being. He created darkness so I could see the light, His light. Even in just the little challenges of every day life it's easy to feel alone. Sometimes I do get lonely. I stay so busy at school but in a calm moment I take a minute to relax and then I'm like "ok now what?" I also tend to get anxious at home. I LOVE spending time with my mom and grandpa, but when Mom is at work and then Grandpa goes about his routine, it can get a little lonely and a little boring. And with everything I went through this summer, sometimes I'll look at something and get reminded of how depressed I was. It's nice to look at how far I've come, but if you've ever suffered from depression, you know how easy it is to slip back into that misery.
Before I left for Chattanooga, I was reading for my quiet time and came across this verse
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." -John 14:18
And I thought, dang. And I reread it, and reread it, and reread it. Jesus will not leave me. I have no reason to be lonely, because Jesus is always with me. That, in and of itself, is something to be positive about! So that first night in TN Caroline asked to sleep in the guest bedroom with me, or "Toria's bed please" as she says. I, being the pushover aunt that I am, said yes, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep. And as I was awakened about 40 minutes after I fell asleep because I was smacked in the face, I started to get annoyed. Not angry by any means but just thinking that it would be a long night. Then I looked over at that sweet little girl with her blanket and princess pajamas and thought "how lucky am I?" In a few more years Caroline won't want to sleep in the same bed and snuggle with her aunt. Someday I will stop being the "cool" aunt (but let's be real, I probably won't ever stop being the cool aunt because I'm so much younger than my sisters and they're just old, hehe). The second night Jackie and Andrew stayed in the hospital (or hopspital or Caroline calls in) Drew woke up screaming. I went in and picked him up and rocked him. I was tired and he would just not fall asleep, but I still got to snuggle with him and rock him which I haven't done since he was 6 months old. If you know sweet Drewbie Drew, then you know that boy is always on the move. Poor Jackie can't turn around for a second without Drew getting into something. So I stayed positive just getting to hold him and snuggle him. Of course I rocked him for half an hour and he never fell asleep, but Nana held him for 5 minutes and he was out, but I guess Nana's just have that special touch.
As I drove from Chattanooga to Marietta and then Marietta to Athens, I felt so convicted about how I haven't been very positive lately, and I had to sit there and ask myself if I was really living my life as a Christian should. Is my gaze fixed on Him? Do I turn to Him in the good times just as much as I do in the bad? Do I praise Him for the bad things and for the challenges and interruptions in my day? Do my decisions and actions occasionally cause others to fall, or do they build them up? Do I season my conversations with salt so that I know how to respond to people with grace and patience? Honestly, about 75% of the time, the answer to the above questions is no. But through His grace I know that's OK. My sins are covered by Jesus' blood, and whatever mistakes I make will be forgiven, and always will be. I am never alone because Jesus constantly intercedes on my behalf, and praise the Lord for that because I am incredibly unworthy. I ask those of you reading this to help keep me accountable to living this Christian life. I so badly want to be a light in this forever darkened world. I want God to use my testimony to do great things. I want to let my actions proudly point to Him. I want to show people the glory that comes with being a child of the one and only King.
Because He is King: the one who was, and is, and is to come.
Smile, God loves you!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
It's not easy being a girl.
My SAO sisters and I went on our annual sisterhood retreat this weekend, and as I looked out on the sea of beautiful young women of Christ, I was filled with love for them. As we broke into small groups and talked about our struggles, I realized how much we tend to doubt God and the beautiful beings He's created us to be. It's hard to be a girl in this world. Women are often devalued and held to high expectations. Society teaches us and constantly tells us we are unworthy of what we're given. The enemy takes these ideas and runs with them. He tells us we are unworthy of a man of God; unworthy of a beautiful life; unworthy of our jobs; and so much more. We had a wonderful guest speaker at the retreat this weekend, and she said one thing that really hit me. She said that being a woman of God means allowing His beauty to shine from the inside out. She said that there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a young woman walk around campus and knowing that she isn't comparing herself to the girls she passes on her walk. Then I thought, "when is the last time I didn't compare myself to another girl?" And honestly, I couldn't give you an answer about that.
Walking to my classes, my thoughts often go a little like this: "Ugh, I wish my legs were as skinny as her's. I wish my hair could look that way. How does she look so nice this early in the morning? She looks happy; I wonder if I could be that happy. Her bags are so cute; there's no way I could afford them," and the list goes on and on. Girls reading this, don't deny that you often think these same thoughts or some very similar.
What's keeping us from walking around knowing that we are beautiful daughters of the King? That we're loved, cherished, pure, worthy? Satan, that's what. And I loathe him. Every doubt he places in our minds and hearts is a lie. We know this, yet we continue to believe him anyway. Why? Because it's often easier to believe the lies of the enemy than believe the truths that our God loves us. And it's because this dark world we live in tells us that what the enemy says is true. Society tells us that that the "bad boy" can be changed, and you can change him, that it's ok to go out and get drunk and sleep with random men, that having sex with that guy will make him stick around, that men of Christ don't exist so it's better to settle for what you have, that only being youthful is beautiful, that you have to look a certain way and dress a certain way to be loved, and this list continues.
When these thoughts occur in my head I often have to tell myself that it's a lie. I tell myself that Satan is a liar and all he has to say is a lie. But then I find myself focusing on the lies, and God isn't glorified in that, Satan is. So I have to switch and tell myself the truths, but satan then tells me that those truths are lies. That's some serious social warfare there people. It's annoying, honestly. I figure the majority of people who read this are young women around my age, so I ask you to join me in rebuking the enemy's lies. I ask you to start a journey with me of believing that we are daughters of the King. I ask you to join me in repeatedly telling ourselves the truths: that we are wanted, chosen, beautiful, pure, worthy, wanted, cherished, desired, and loved by the Creator of the universe. If He took the time out of His busy schedule to form us in our mother's womb and know the number of hairs on our head, then He must love us a whole lot. So join me on this journey.
On this weekend with my sisters I realized how many people read this silly blog. I think sometimes it's easier for me to hide behind this computer screen because I don't have to watch the reactions of others as they "hear" what I have to say because quite honestly, I'm terrified of what they're reactions may be. Yet another lie, because I get some really positive feedback about how God is using me with this blog.
Which leads me to another thing. We all know I want to be a teacher, and that desire still burns bright within me, but through writing this blog and my leadership position in SAO, a new desire has been born. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, but again that little voice in my head has told me that it will never happen and that I'm not worthy of it, but a desire has arisen in my heart to minister to young women. I sometimes dream of one day being able to write a book about being a young woman of Christ and of being able to go across the country speaking and joining in fellowship of young women. I'd like to open a young women's ministry. Maybe this is something silly, but a seed has been planted and I really want to see what God does with it.
But really, as young women, let's remember the truths that our Father tells us, and rebuke the lies the enemy puts in our heads. He is bigger. He is greater. He is truth.
Smile, God loves you!
Walking to my classes, my thoughts often go a little like this: "Ugh, I wish my legs were as skinny as her's. I wish my hair could look that way. How does she look so nice this early in the morning? She looks happy; I wonder if I could be that happy. Her bags are so cute; there's no way I could afford them," and the list goes on and on. Girls reading this, don't deny that you often think these same thoughts or some very similar.
What's keeping us from walking around knowing that we are beautiful daughters of the King? That we're loved, cherished, pure, worthy? Satan, that's what. And I loathe him. Every doubt he places in our minds and hearts is a lie. We know this, yet we continue to believe him anyway. Why? Because it's often easier to believe the lies of the enemy than believe the truths that our God loves us. And it's because this dark world we live in tells us that what the enemy says is true. Society tells us that that the "bad boy" can be changed, and you can change him, that it's ok to go out and get drunk and sleep with random men, that having sex with that guy will make him stick around, that men of Christ don't exist so it's better to settle for what you have, that only being youthful is beautiful, that you have to look a certain way and dress a certain way to be loved, and this list continues.
When these thoughts occur in my head I often have to tell myself that it's a lie. I tell myself that Satan is a liar and all he has to say is a lie. But then I find myself focusing on the lies, and God isn't glorified in that, Satan is. So I have to switch and tell myself the truths, but satan then tells me that those truths are lies. That's some serious social warfare there people. It's annoying, honestly. I figure the majority of people who read this are young women around my age, so I ask you to join me in rebuking the enemy's lies. I ask you to start a journey with me of believing that we are daughters of the King. I ask you to join me in repeatedly telling ourselves the truths: that we are wanted, chosen, beautiful, pure, worthy, wanted, cherished, desired, and loved by the Creator of the universe. If He took the time out of His busy schedule to form us in our mother's womb and know the number of hairs on our head, then He must love us a whole lot. So join me on this journey.
On this weekend with my sisters I realized how many people read this silly blog. I think sometimes it's easier for me to hide behind this computer screen because I don't have to watch the reactions of others as they "hear" what I have to say because quite honestly, I'm terrified of what they're reactions may be. Yet another lie, because I get some really positive feedback about how God is using me with this blog.
Which leads me to another thing. We all know I want to be a teacher, and that desire still burns bright within me, but through writing this blog and my leadership position in SAO, a new desire has been born. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, but again that little voice in my head has told me that it will never happen and that I'm not worthy of it, but a desire has arisen in my heart to minister to young women. I sometimes dream of one day being able to write a book about being a young woman of Christ and of being able to go across the country speaking and joining in fellowship of young women. I'd like to open a young women's ministry. Maybe this is something silly, but a seed has been planted and I really want to see what God does with it.
But really, as young women, let's remember the truths that our Father tells us, and rebuke the lies the enemy puts in our heads. He is bigger. He is greater. He is truth.
Smile, God loves you!
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