Why I Want to be a Teacher

So I was in my Educational Psychology class today and we talked about poverty and how it affects children in schools. The question is...how does it NOT affect children in schools? We watched a segment from 60 Minutes about child poverty in the U.S. and frankly, I got tears in my eyes. The interviewer sat down with about 20 children from elementary school to middle school ages and asked them some questions. One of the questions was "What is it like to sleep while you're hungry?" One young boy said he couldn't sleep at night because he woke up every 5  minutes thinking about how hungry he was. Another little girl said it was embarrassing because her stomach would rumble and the kids in her class always asked her why. Now, if you're reading this, you know I'm extremely dramatic; I say I'm starving all the time. In truth, I'm not. The kids also said that it's hard to concentrate when they've had to skip dinner and breakfast.

The interviewer also asked if any of the kids had their electricity turned off at home. 18 of the 20 children raised their hands. 18 out of 20! Their parents had to choose between feeding their family, or having electricity. The students also said they did their homework by candlelight. One older boy, about 14, said he went out in the car and used the overhead light just so he could get his studying done. The tear-jerker came when one girl, about 12, started to cry and said that she felt like her parents' poverty was all her fault because they had to buy her food and clothes.

It was this last statement from the girl that gave me this overwhelming feeling that I am supposed to enter the teaching profession. From reading by big sis's blog, I know that schools aren't what they used to be; parents don't care, students don't care, and teachers are teaching according to a bar set not according to their students' individual needs. This I know; however, I know God wants me to teach. I want to show the students the power of love and warmth. I will love those high schoolers (even thought it might almost kill me sometimes) like they're my own. Yes, I stress about money, and yes, there were times things were tight, but I always knew there was a roof over my head. I always had electricity and I always knew where my next meal was coming from. To the children who don't know these things, school really doesn't seem like that big of a deal. At 16 it will just make more sense for them to drop out of high school and work so they can contribute to their family's wages. I know what I'm up against. I want to show these students that breaking the chain and going to college will in fact benefit them more than they'll ever know. I know it won't be easy, I know I'll want to quit, but I know this is what I'm supposed to do. I want to be there for those kids. I want to show them the beauty of literature and how you can escape into a world that isn't your own, even for just a few hours. I want to see these students (even though I won't know them for a while) succeed and get accepted into college. I want to show them the beauty of an education; that although it sometimes "sucks," it will pay off in the long run. I want to love them and cherish them. I want to succeed when they succeed, and fall when they fall.

I want to be a teacher.

Number Two

So last night a group of my SAO sisters and I went to the Passion Conference Tour 2012 at Athens Church. It was a much needed emotional night of worship and message. It's been a while since I've gone to a big worship event like that, and I really needed it. I'm struggling a lot with being lonely and with Bobby being so far away. OK, I know whoever reads this probably gets really bored...wah wah, I miss my boyfriend, I know, it could be so much worse, I know. Anyway, it was so amazing just to gather with a huge group of college-aged believers and worship our Lord. Within the first few songs, I immediately felt waves of relief and the presence of Jesus. As Louie Giglio gave his speech, I was really struck by one of the things he said; that we must find a number 2. He talked about falling in love-something I can relate to. But, Louie talked about how we must first fall in love with God, our number one, and then go in search of our number 2. Fortunately, at this time in my life, I've found my number 2 in Bobby. 

A relationship is hard. It's work, and there are good days and bad days. Add in a 1,000+ mile difference and it gets even harder. Bobby and I have been struggling a lot with missing each other, which is only to be expected. We saw each other this past weekend and it was wonderful. Just to be with my best friend again. He's changed so much in the 7 weeks we were apart, and I'm so proud of the Godly man he's becoming. The distance requires a lot of trust in the person you love, and trusting yourself. Because our relationship has been weighing heavily on my heart, it's something I prayed really hard about last night about Louie spoke. I prayed that God guide us in our craziness of staying together, and that it be His will. I was hit with a sense of peace, and that was so nice and refreshing. It's crazy to think that a year ago Bobby and I were broken up, and not speaking to each other. We've been through so much in the past year and a half, and I know we have a lot more to get through. But as Bobby and I were talking last night about how we sometimes ask ourselves "Why us," that we should be grateful. We should be grateful that God loves us enough to challenge our love for each other by distancing us. And by distancing us, we must turn to Him so that we may grow together. And how much of a blessing is that? A huge one. I know we have so much going against us, and that there are so many obstacles in my way, but I'm not afraid-sad, lonely, and missing him like crazy, yes. But I am not afraid. We'll be OK. We've trusted God with our relationship and there isn't much more we can do. 

I've found my number 2.