Do you ever feel like your best isn't good enough? I know I do.
When I was younger, and would come home with a grade that was less than what I'd expected, my mom would ask me, "Did you do your best?" If the answer was yes she would reply with, "Well then, that's all I can ask of you, and that grade was well deserved." If the answer was no, she would reply with, "well then, luckily there's next time, and that grade is what you deserved."
We're taught that what we put in to something is what we will get out. The Bible even says that what you sow is what you will reap. So then why, when I'm emotionally exhausted from trying to be my best, I feel like I'm not good enough? No matter what I do, I don't get any credit. I try to put others before myself, but still, not good enough.
Back to the Bible reference, perhaps it's because I'm focusing more on my earthly relationships than my one with God. This year in college I completely transformed my relationship with the Lord. I prayed continuously and read my bible every night, not out of obligation, but because I craved that relationship. I surrounded myself with lovers of the Lord, and felt His presence all the time. Now, many months later, opening my bible seems like such a chore. Does that make me a back Christian? I feel so much better when I do, so why am I so lazy? I guess my question to those of you who read this (if anyone does) is, Have you ever been in this position? Where you feel a lull in your relationship with the Lord? My views haven't changed, I still love the Lord with all my heart, and I try to live my life according to His purpose, but I just feel so...disconnected, I guess. The easy answer is to stop being lazy and pick up my bible, but practicing that isn't easy. So what do I do? Have you ever felt disconnected? What did you do to get that back?
