Now that I'm almost (AH!) halfway through my 2nd year of teaching, I feel the need to make myself take a step back and establish some semblance of work-life balance. This is also something that God placed on my heart recently. When I'm so caught up my many aspects of work, I don't take time to focus on Him and the blessings He's given me in life in terms of people and opportunities. I feel like over this past year and a half I've learned so much about people, how to "adult," and myself, but I haven't taken much time to devote to the things that truly make me happy.
As a teacher, I can't really fathom what it's like to not bring work home with you at the end of the day. I know from seeing my brothers-in-law and sisters' careers that it's not uncommon to bring work home. I just feel like that with my job (and others in public service), you come home with not only the material aspects to work on, but also the emotional baggage that comes from working with young minds all day- did Johnny get a good meal tonight? How is Susie's parents' divorce affecting her? Edward doesn't have internet access; will he be able to get the work done that I assigned, or am I asking too much? Has Alexis stopped fighting with her mom? (Obviously these are not exact scenarios OR students' real names.) I come home so emotionally and physically drained that thinking about opening my computer for 2-3 hours makes me want to crawl into bed. Shout out to all of the parents out there- I don't know HOW you work all day and come home to take care of kids, or how you stay home and take care of kids for that matter. I don't sleep well because I'm so worried I forgot to do something or I'm worrying about how to make content come alive or that I didn't send that email. And yes, I do all of the things that you "should" or "should not" do if you're someone who struggles with sleeping.
Anyway, last year I really lost sight of the things that I enjoy, and that make work seem less stressful. God is encouraging me to take a step back and re-evaluate some things and how much of work I let leave the school with me.
One thing I've realized is that student work doesn't have to be graded right away. If I'm allotted and expected to take 2 weeks to grade projects and tests, I can most certainly take those two weeks, and I don't have to feel guilty about it. Before I was killing myself trying to grade projects and other large assignments in 2 days. To be honest, I don't do my best grading like that, and then I end up being Oprah- "You get an A! You get an A! Everybody gets an A!" and that certainly isn't an effective way to teach students.
I've had to sit back and ask myself, what are the things that make me happy?
1. My family- I got to spend this past weekend with my sister, her husband, their 4 kiddos, and my mom, and it was just what I needed. I needed to get plugged back into [some of] the most important people in my life to remind me of who I am as a person, not a teacher. It was nice to get away and not have to have tunnel vision walking through the grocery store in fear of hearing, "Ms. Rivard!"
2. My friends- I'm heading back to my stomping grounds this weekend- my beloved Athens. I can't wait to just be with my friends and again be reminded of what's truly important.
3. Exercise- I may complain to no end when the alarm goes off at 5:30, but in the end I'm glad I've done it. I used to dance 15-20 hours a week, and then for the first 2 years in college I was in a good rhythm of exercise and walked everywhere. That's when I was truly happy.
4. Blogging- I know it's cheesy, and I know I don't act like your average 23 year old, but it's always a time to dump my thoughts and often re-connect with God through what's on my heart. I've really lost sight of it in the last year and a half.
5. My cat- Lord am I going to get crap for this one. I HATED cats, and I still do in general. I just happen to love my cat. He keeps me company and makes me happy.
6. Reading- It's always been an escape and coping mechanism for me. Luckily, when you challenge your students to read 20 books, you need to read them, too, so this isn't something that's fallen by the wayside.
There are certainly more things than this, but I feel like 6 things is more than enough to concentrate on right now, alongside my daily quiet time with the Lord. I'm finding that when I'm plugged in with God and the things on my list, I'm a better person with more patience and understanding. In turn these things make me a better employee, co-worker, and teacher. Obviously I'm a single, non-parent 20-something, and I don't mean to be whiny, but these are things God has placed on my heart. I pray that in a couple of months in focusing on these things, I will be a happier version of myself. And really feel like me.
Smile, God loves you!
