No, I'm not talking about the Disney movie with "the Rock" Johnson, I'm talking about the plan we all have for our lives. Especially for young women, you know exactly what I mean when I say "the plan." I've always been a planner. Shoot, I planned out the itinerary for my 10th birthday party (Harry Potter themed, duh), and basically had a meltdown when we didn't stay on schedule. As a new teacher, plan is the main word in my vocabulary. My plan until I was about 20 went something like this:
-fall in love with a boy junior or senior year of high school
-date that boy all through college, and of course we'd both go to the same school
-get married as soon as we graduated from school, so age 22
-start having babies at 25
Let's look at what actually happened:
-fell in love with a boy at 17, who was a year younger than I was
-NOT attend the same college and date long distance
-get my heart broken (twice) by said boy and realize that I had serious daddy issues that I'd been sweeping under the rug for 20 years
Yet, even after that heart break, I thought surely I'd meet someone so my little plan of getting married at 22 and babies at 25 would come true.
Ha. Ha. Ha. God had a MUCH different plan.
I dated a little after that gut-wrenching break up, but for the most part, stayed single. I made mistakes and didn't guard my heart like I should have, and graduation day started approaching faster and faster. I knew my Facebook newsfeed would be filled with breakups and engagements since life was about to change dramatically and my friends and I would be swept into adulthood. Change is a huge trigger for my anxiety and depression, and boy has it been triggered. I've had multiple anxiety attacks this summer and my friends and family have braved the brunt of it. And I realized something...
I am so glad my plan didn't come true!!!
I've only been back at work for 2 weeks and I don't even have students yet, but the level of exhaustion I already feel is unreal. I say to my mom all of the time that I can't imagine having a husband or children to come home to. I am SO GLAD my plan didn't happen and God's did instead. Please don't get me wrong, two of my best friends got married this summer, and God's plan for them is unique and perfect for them, just not me. The beauty in God's creation is that we're each individuals and have needs based off of how God created us to be. My "change trigger" has happened because of graduating, moving back home, getting a job, finding a roommate, looking for an apartment, and beginning my teaching career. I don't think I could have handled marriage on top of all of that.
People have always said that God's plan is better than we could imagine, and in this time of my life I believe that more than anything. God has been faithful, abundantly faithful actually. Bay Creek is exactly where I'm supposed to be; everyone is SO nice. People check in on me multiple times a day, share their resources, and my assistant principal offered to help me hang posters, which really doesn't happen every day.
He who promised is faithful.
So if you're in a season of life that you never expected to find yourself in, or that wasn't part of "the plan," it will all be OK. God's plan is greater.
Smile, God loves you!
