Last week I posted about my desire and conviction to stop watching so much crap TV. I decided to turn to NBC's "The Biggest Loser" on Hulu (don't get me started on how much I hate Hulu-I'm a Netflix girl, thanks to Jackie and Andrew, but Netflix doesn't have TBL). Yes, the show is reality TV, and yes there is some cursing, but it's bleeped out and for the most part, it's a "wholesome" TV show. I also really like that they get to the underlying issue behind the obese/overweight person's weight and health problems. From being told you were ugly every day, a failed marriage, a lost child, being adopted and feeling out of place, or a feeling of worthlessness, the show addresses it. It's quite motivating to watch people with health issues far beyond mine find success. Cheesily (yes I made up that word) I probably cry at the end of every episode because of how emotional the contestants get at their own success- they have such a reason to be proud of themselves!
When these men and women get vulnerable and feel that their weight makes them undesirable, ugly, unattractive, and worthless, I find myself shouting at my computer, "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!" This was an "ah-ha" moment as I realized that I can see the beauty in these total strangers, but can't always see it in myself.
Of course, I do not have the amount of weight to lose that they do: my blood pressure is great, I have healthy cholesterol, and my goal is to lose 15-20lbs, not 100+ like their's is. However, we do have something in common--- a desire and commitment to changing our lives with healthy living.
I do have to say though, Tuesday I had a little taste of sweet victory. I was pretty frustrated because in the two weeks since I went to see the dietitian, I hadn't lost any weight. I had to keep repeating to myself that I wasn't doing this for numbers and that I had to be patient. If I can sit down at the end of the day before God and say that I ate well, I got my body moving, and I never over-ate or ate emotionally, then that day was a success. In Lysa Terkeurst's book she talks about what the scale can't tell you: it can't tell you how many carbs could have affected your weight, how much salt you ate, if you're bloated, or, if you're a woman, what time of the month it is. I had to repeat this to myself too. Monday night I had a little conversation with God and prayed, well, begged, for the numbers on the scale to go down, and in response I heard "I am refining you." I thought, "well that's fine and dandy, but I sure am working my tail off here." But I accepted it nonetheless. To my surprise, I stepped on the scale and lost 2.5 pounds! Did I do a happy dance around my room? You bet I did.
Now, I think some of the reasons I listed above had to do with that number dropping so much in a week (isn't being a woman grand?- said no one ever), but for the first time in my life I realized that I lost those 2.5lbs the healthy way. I didn't deprive myself; I didn't count calories; I didn't obsess over how much I ate; I didn't skip meals. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I began to feel full. Did I still feel hungry sometimes? Yes. Are my cravings insane now that my body is changing? Yes. Do I still get discouraged when I look in the mirror? Yes. But, the most important thing is that I am on the road to healthy living, and I lost weight by honoring my body. I didn't fill it up with a bunch of processed foods or use food as an escape. I treated my body the way God intended me to treat it- as holy and a temple.
Another victory has come in the form of a 1 lb bag of trailmix. I have made a bag of trailmix last a week and a half and counting. For some people that's average, but for the old me, that bag would have lasted 3 days, maybe. I would have opened the bag while watching a TV show to escape, and 20 minutes later look down to see a plethora of crumbs displayed on my chest and a half empty bag in front of me. I'd beat myself up, tell myself how disgusting that was, etc. Now, per the dietitian's instructions, she said to measure out the serving size once, and only once, and then "eyeball" every serving after that. So, I know that for me, a 1/3 cup of trailmix is about a hand full and a half. So, I get the handful, eat it, get the little half and close the bag and put it back where it belongs before eating that last little bit. I know it seems like such a simple step, but hey, it works for me.
RUNNING. Oh the dreaded word! Well, I have one more day to complete the 4th week. It will technically be my 4th time running it this week (each week is composed of 3 days), but Monday was a bit, um, muddy. I'm so lucky to have a friend like Elise who runs with me and encourages me. I have such an accountability partner in her. She's always been a very healthy eater and is aware of what she puts in her body. She's also a former ballerina so she gets a lot that I go through. Granted, her metabolism works about 5x as quickly as mine does, but there is no judgment from her, and she gives me recipes and encourages me. We tried to go running at the State Botanical Gardens on Monday, not thinking about the insane amount of rain we've had lately, and we were ankle deep in mud, so it turned into more of a strenuous hike than a run, but we still got moving! Today I didn't have to push myself until the last 50 seconds out of a total of 16 minutes of running (broken into intervals), which made me feel AWESOME.
New Recipe Time (sorry if this bores everyone, but hopefully it will help out my fellow college peers)
I tried kale chips-- all I can say is "eh." I'm not someone who craves potato chips a lot, I'd rather get my salty kick from trailmix, so maybe if I enjoyed chips more I'd like the kale chips. They aren't bad they're just...different.
Kale Chips:
-1 bunch kale
-olive oil
-salt
-baking sheet and parchment paper
1. preheat oven to 350
2. wash kale and take off stem (they're pretty thick and taste kinda nasty) and rip into bite sized pieces (I used the bagged kale, so this could be where I went wrong, but it's all I could find at the grocery store)
4. Place kale on parchment sheet lines cookie sheet, drizzle with olive oil and salt
5. Bake in oven about 10 minutes (The recipe I used said 10-15 minutes, so I did 12 minutes and almost set off the smoke alarm in Brumby because the kale fried to a crisp, 8 minutes was my magical number)
Healthy Taco Salad:
This I made last night because I had some random stuff in my fridge
-chicken breast
-corn
-avocado
-salsa
-spinach
-cheese
-black beans
-tortilla chips
1.cut chicken strips into bite sized pieces and cooked in a pan with a little olive oil
2. add black beans (drained and rinsed), corn (I used frozen), and spinach until everything is heated
3. place on plate, adding avocado, salsa, and cheese
I skipped out on the tortillas, first because I didn't have any and second because those are calories I didn't want or need. To make sure I didn't eat my weight in tortilla chips, I alternated between 2 chips and then just 3 or 4 bites of the "salad" without chips. I didn't actually count, I just made myself aware of how many tortilla chips I was eating.
I know several of you have said you, too, are in a journey to healthy living, and I'd love to hear how your journeys are going.
As always...
Smile, God loves you!
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