Listen to your body.

This is probably me oversharing, but I'm a millennial, so let's just play into the stereotype for this post. 

It's no secret that I'm dramatic. I'm the youngest of four and being dramatic is just who I am. My anxiety also manifests itself in being a hypochondriac.

My mom's response to my hypochondria was always "You're the expert on your body. If you need to see a doctor, see a doctor." 

Even as an adult, people always say to listen to your body. Well, I thought I had, but apparently other people didn't want to listen. 

In June of 2017, after sharing concerns with my gynecologist, she begrudgingly ordered an ultrasound where they found a mass on my left ovary. Cysts are not new to me--I had my first one rupture at 14. However, cysts are typically fluid filled, not solid. My mom came to the follow up appointment with me, and I left in tears. The doctor essentially told me that the formation of this solid mass was my fault due to lifestyle choices. When my mom and I brought up PCOS or endometriosis, things that are in our family history, we were again dismissed and I was made to believe that I had somehow caused my body to form this mass. We were advised to take the "watch and wait" approach due to my age. I was told they "could" operate, but there was a strong chance I'd lose my left ovary, something that is scary to hear at 24 years old.

In December 2017, I saw a different doctor who ordered a CT scan. The scan revealed that the mass hadn't grown, but they did note a small cyst on the right side. Again, I was told to watch and wait. When I mentioned the pain I was in each month, I was told to continue taking advil because "most women are in pain each month." 

After getting on my own health insurance in January of this year, I researched local gynecologists and found one with excellent reviews. I saw the PA at the office in July and finally felt like someone saw and heard me. She asked if I'd been in pain and if I'd like something stronger than advil for the pain. I declined because honestly, at this point I was used to it. An ultrasound revealed that the cyst on the right had grown to 7cm, and I was asked to come back in 6 weeks. In August, the cyst had grown to 9.5cm and the doctor recommended surgery for removal, and I was prescribed a low-level pain pill. 

I, of course, initially declined the surgery. It wasn't until the doctor came in and said she would recommend her own daughter get the surgery that I took her seriously. After consulting my mom, I scheduled the surgery for Thanksgiving break since I didn't want to miss work. 

God, and my body, had other plans. After a 6 hour ER visit in September in which my doctor believed my ovary twisted on itself and untwisted again, the surgery was moved up to yesterday, October 29th.

At my pre-op two weeks ago, I was informed that my surgeon wanted to remove both the large cyst and the solid mass. When I brought up my concerns about losing one ovary, she told me she completely disagreed with the other doctors I had seen and she was confident she could preserve both ovaries. 

Yesterday was the big day, and upon going in to remove both the cyst and the mass, the surgeon found both ovaries covered in endometriosis, and the solid mass on my left side was an endometrioma- a mass filled with endometrium. The pain I'd been experiencing for years wasn't "normal." The pain was legitimate and there was a cause behind it. I have a family history of endometriosis and nothing I did (or didn't do) caused it. 

My doctor said she is so glad we went in when we did. Although not life-threatening, endometriosis can cause some serious problems and can cause infertility if left untreated, and if it had continued to grow, we would be looking at some other complications. 

I am so grateful to this doctor and her insistence on surgery and her professional opinion. Although I'm sore and in pain from being pumped full of carbon dioxide, it is such a relief to hear that I wasn't overreacting to this pain for so long. I'm so excited to get through this week of recovery and go on to hopefully be pain free(ish) moving forward. 

I'm blessed by a mom who works in the medical field and can translate "doctor speak" into something I can understand. I'm blessed by a fiance who has been an excellent nurse these last two days. Let's just say it's a good thing he wants to marry me because he can't un-see anything from these last two days ; ).  I'm thankful for an incredible support network of family and friends who are also co-workers and are taking good care of this anxious teacher's kiddos.